Okay, so I have to admit that ever since the fox story I’ve had writer’s block, and I’m not even a writer! I just love that story and it’s so touching. How do you write something after that? So I thought I would take a different track and go to something different. Hopefully, something funny.
I realize that owning the ranch has definitely given me some amazing situations and tons of material to write about. The people I meet and get to know are fabulous. Every one of them gives me a gift of some sort, as long as I take the time to listen. There are some truly amazing people out there with hearts of gold and bigger than the universe. I’m blessed.
Then I get these experiences that I just have to laugh about. Before I start, I must give a little background on myself. Although a health care professional by training, I picked a profession that minimized patient contact but still allowed me to help-pharmacy. So when it comes to things like nausea and vomiting, it’s pretty low on my list of things I can tolerate. It even started for me way back in grade school. I distinctly remember sitting at my desk in First Grade when Roger P. just finished his lunch, drank his milk, then politely threw up on my back. Nice. I was also blessed with a terrible gag reflex. The doctors don’t take my word for it, and when they want to look at my sore throat with a wooden stick, they don’t get very far. It’s a terrible affliction.
So now that you know this about me, you’ll understand my stress when one of our guests asked me to take her to Bozeman one Sunday morning because she thought she had come down with a stomach bug and really needed to get to town to see a doctor. Great. Was there really nobody else in the lodge who could make this trip? I searched the ranch high and low but there was nobody to be found that could take my place. She knew I was taking another guest back to town for an airport run so asked if she could come along. Of course I always wanted to help her, it was just the fact that I didn’t know how I was going to get through the hour long drive back to town. She said she had been ill all night and couldn’t keep anything in her stomach and would I mind???
So in the car we go. She sat in the back seat with a trash can and a box of kleenex as we proceeded up the canyon. Little did I know that our other guest, Tara, suffered from the same affliction as I did when it came to nausea. So there we were. I watched her in the back seat as every ten minutes or so she proceeded to get sick. At times I had to pull over and ask her to stay outside for a minute or two to see if the fresh air would help. I thought this journey would never end.
Tara and I tried to divert the situation. The radio was as loud as I could possibly tolerate it. Tara and I nervously chatted with each other as we tried to avoid the noises coming from the back seat. Our skin color changed from a rosy pink from the cold weather to a pale gray for each mile we drove up the canyon. Eyes twitched and darted from nervousness, wondering if we were going to be able to make the trip. Sweat beads started to form on my brow and I felt that my time was dwindling as to how far I could actually make it. Knuckles were white and firmly gripped around the steering wheel. My posture was completely erect and forward so I wouldn’t even touch the back of my seat. My mother would have been proud, but she would have still told me that I should do something with those bangs and get the hair out of my face. Some things just never change.
As we entered the mouth of the canyon, I knew that I could finally step on the gas and go faster and faster to town. I prayed the highway patrol was enjoying coffee and doughnuts somewhere and allow me to move at mock speed to the hospital. Our guest was holding her own in the back seat, but I feared I might add the element of motion sickness if I traveled any faster-and this I did not need.
We rounded the corner and sped to the hospital (she didn’t need a hospital but it was Sunday and the ER was her only option). I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I must be honest. I generally consider myself a very caring individual, but given the situation I had to do what was in the best interest of all parties involved, and that included myself. I pulled up to the ER doors, proceeded to a rolling stop, and asked her if she wouldn’t mind that I don’t go in with her. I dropped her off in the parking lot. I can’t remember if I actually stopped, but I know she got out of the car. I know. Pretty cruel, but we made it.
Tara and I looked at each other and heaved a sigh of relief as we sped out of that parking lot as quickly as possible. Our guest was fine. Just a little dehydrated. They medicated her to stop the nausea and she was fine by that evening. Tara safely made her flight and never contacted us again. I didn’t charge her for the transport. And for myself, you won’t be seeing me do an airport run again